An influential event that
decided my ambition is the unfortunate that happened on my mother in 2003. I
was 8 years old, and my mother was 35 years old then. I had been told that my
mother was suffering from cancer, and after approximately 7 months, cancer took
my mother away from me.
I did not know what kind of
cancer that tortured my mother, and I did not know how it harmed my mother, all
I knew was cancer cannot be cured. As I grow up, I learnt more about anatomy
and physiology, and I learnt how does “cancer” initiate and how does it cause
its impact on human bodies. I learnt these from the science lessons being
taught in school and from the articles that I read. But I never learn how
cancer can be cured from the root. When I was 14 years old, an anti-cancer drug
was announced and scientists proclaimed that it can destroy the mutated cells;
however it damages the hosts’ cells as well.
When I was 16 years old, I faced
the problem that I had to choose to enter either science or arts stream, after
seeing the chemotherapy that is ineffective yet suffers my mother more, and the
anti-cancer drug that causes a huge adverse effect, I decided to step into
science field to learn more and to contribute some in cancer cure one day.
Holding that faith on myself, I am now in the pharmaceutical field, and I
believe that one day my knowledge and passion will be contributed to coming out
with one therapy or drug possessing optimum therapeutic effect with least
adverse effect.
(274 words)
Hi Elaine (:
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear about what has happened to your mum. Continue to be strong ok, I am sure your mum will be proud of you! (((: And I have faith that you will be able to contribute to the pharmaceutical field! :D
Yes, the short essay is definitely something Elaine's has written with her heart. I believe she loves her mum a lot, and with her this kind of motivation, she will definitely succeed in future! :DD
a. What do you think about the event described?
ReplyDeleteThe passing of a family member is always difficult and more so for Elaine to lose her mother at such a young age. I admire the courage that she has in facing the situation and most definitely her values and principles that guided her into becoming someone who wants to make a positive difference in people's lives. Cancer has brought excruciating suffering upon many people and it is comforting and inspiring to know of individuals who are fighting to make the world a better place.
b. Does this post strike you as having been written “with heart” or not? How can you justify.
How can you not.
Some of the mistakes
First sentence sounds weird, I am not sure if "decided" goes with "ambition".
I would put it this way:
The lost of my mother to cancer was influential to me as it discovered my ambition in becoming a pharmaceutical researcher.
I did not know what kind of cancer that tortured my mother, and I did not know how it harmed my mother, all I knew was cancer cannot be cured.
you do not need to have "that" after cancer --> I did not know what kind of cancer tortured my mother. but it can be better phrased -> I did not know what type of cancer my mother suffered from, and how torturous it was for her.
I did not understand the mechanism / way in which cancer destroys a human life and all I knew was that there was no cure for it.
... and how does it cause its impact on human bodies. -> just "how it impacts the human body" will do
-> Yet, the knowledge that I have acquired about cancer from science lessons and reading articles never included the solution in curing cancer absolutely.
Need to move on to Jovyn's article. Well done. JIAYOU
Thank you very much for your sharing!
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